i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
porn star boner night. come get it.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
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