Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
