Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
