This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Randomize
