Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
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