How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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