dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize
