I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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