they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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