he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
