K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
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