Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
smell my finger.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
