Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
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