so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
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