Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Randomize
