P.S. I can't hear my feet
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
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