omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Randomize
