escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
