K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
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