babies were throwing up all over the place
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
