I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
Randomize
