So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
the liver wants what the liver wants
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
