The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize