I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
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