OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
Randomize
