hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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