So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
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