Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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