we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
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