so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
