she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize