he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Randomize
