i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Randomize
