You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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