nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
Randomize
