census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
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