For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
