Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
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