I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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