I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
