I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize