Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
I currently don't understand fingers.
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