Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
Randomize
