We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
Randomize
