NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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