absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
The producers of Marley and Me owe me about $5 million. That's the dollar amount of embarrassment compensation required for making a 24-year-old male cry publicly on an airplane while sitting in the middle seat between a gorgeous babe and a guy with a do-rag
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
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