Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
