Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
