this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
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