they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
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