you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
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