I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
