He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
Randomize
