You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
