DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
Randomize
