OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
Randomize
