Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Randomize
