i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Randomize
