I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
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