she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
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