12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
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